"Now everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner" -Lily Allen
Is it ok to admit that I can really relate to the above statement? I know Lily Allen's song, The Fear, is written mainly in jest, but is it ok to admit that my life seems to run more smoothly when I'm feeling fit and thin? I don't have an eating disorder. I love food. I love to cook. I also love to exercise. And...gulp....I like weighing myself. I like knowing that the dial stops rising at a certain number. When I'm thinner, I'm happier.I've just finished listening to an audio book entitled Thin is the New Happy, and it's got me thinking alot about weight and body image. I've found a weight where I'm happy, and I'll be dammed if I don't stay here! Is that so bad? The author of this book spent years "yo-yo dieting" and years gaining and loosing weight. When she stopped dieting all together, she found that her body naturally found it's happiest weight and stayed there. And, she found happiness.
I do believe we have to work with what we've got genetics-wise. Some people are naturally thinner than others. I'm tall (5'9"), and I tend to be lean. At one point I was about 20 pounds heavier than I am now. Being 20 pounds heavier was not the norm for me. I'm normally pretty slim, but I wasn't exercising and I was eating whatever I wanted. If I want to stay where I am now, I have to work out several times a week (which isn't a problem, because I love routine, and my routine includes exercise), and eat well. I sometimes splurge, but it's ok, because I exercise and the splurging isn't everyday. However, I'm not necessarily at my body's "natural" stopping point on the scale. I work hard to stay below that number.
I know that weight is a huge issue in this country: either way too thin, or obese. People on both sides of the spectrum have an unhealthy relationship with food. Without offending anyone with a true eating disorder, I feel like we're at a point in society where it's taboo to discuss the direct relationship between our weight/body image and our overall happiness. Maybe I'm the only one with this issue? I might be, but for the first time in my life (27, almost 28 years), I'm really happy with how my body looks! And I, gasp, weigh myself and love seeing the lower number.
I'm not really sure what got be write this post...this is just something that's been on my mind lately. maybe I just want to know that how I feel is "normal"? I certainly am not writing this to offend or hurt anyone. I don't judge other people on their weight. It's a truly personal issue, and I know that most people who are heavy have a completely different genetic makeup than me. I am not in their shoes, so I don't judge. I'm also not in the shoes of a person with anorexia or bulimia, so I don't want to upset anyone who is struggling with eating issues. I just wanted to get this off my chest! And maybe respond to all the people I've encountered in my life who feel the need to comment when I decline a cookie or pass on the bread basket..... "You can have that....you're skinny." (Like it's an accusation more than a compliment) "No, I can't eat that because I'm so thin! I'm thin because I'm passing on this item of fattening food." Hate me if you want, but I really do live by the motto: Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.*
*Please don't be too harsh.