Monday, October 11, 2010

Is this ok to admit?

"Now everything's cool as long as I'm getting thinner" -Lily Allen

Is it ok to admit that I can really relate to the above statement? I know Lily Allen's song, The Fear, is written mainly in jest, but is it ok to admit that my life seems to run more smoothly when I'm feeling fit and thin? I don't have an eating disorder. I love food. I love to cook. I also love to exercise. And...gulp....I like weighing myself. I like knowing that the dial stops rising at a certain number. When I'm thinner, I'm happier.
I've just finished listening to an audio book entitled Thin is the New Happy, and it's got me thinking alot about weight and body image. I've found a weight where I'm happy, and I'll be dammed if I don't stay here! Is that so bad? The author of this book spent years "yo-yo dieting" and years gaining and loosing weight. When she stopped dieting all together, she found that her body naturally found it's happiest weight and stayed there. And, she found happiness.

I do believe we have to work with what we've got genetics-wise. Some people are naturally thinner than others. I'm tall (5'9"), and I tend to be lean. At one point I was about 20 pounds heavier than I am now. Being 20 pounds heavier was not the norm for me. I'm normally pretty slim, but I wasn't exercising and I was eating whatever I wanted. If I want to stay where I am now, I have to work out several times a week (which isn't a problem, because I love routine, and my routine includes exercise), and eat well. I sometimes splurge, but it's ok, because I exercise and the splurging isn't everyday. However, I'm not necessarily at my body's "natural" stopping point on the scale. I work hard to stay below that number.

I know that weight is a huge issue in this country: either way too thin, or obese. People on both sides of the spectrum have an unhealthy relationship with food. Without offending anyone with a true eating disorder, I feel like we're at a point in society where it's taboo to discuss the direct relationship between our weight/body image and our overall happiness. Maybe I'm the only one with this issue? I might be, but for the first time in my life (27, almost 28 years), I'm really happy with how my body looks! And I, gasp, weigh myself and love seeing the lower number.

I'm not really sure what got be write this post...this is just something that's been on my mind lately. maybe I just want to know that how I feel is "normal"? I certainly am not writing this to offend or hurt anyone. I don't judge other people on their weight. It's a truly personal issue, and I know that most people who are heavy have a completely different genetic makeup than me. I am not in their shoes, so I don't judge. I'm also not in the shoes of a person with anorexia or bulimia, so I don't want to upset anyone who is struggling with eating issues. I just wanted to get this off my chest! And maybe respond to all the people I've encountered in my life who feel the need to comment when I decline a cookie or pass on the bread basket..... "You can have're skinny." (Like it's an accusation more than a compliment) "No, I can't eat that because I'm so thin! I'm thin because I'm passing on this item of fattening food." Hate me if you want, but I really do live by the motto: Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.*

*Please don't be too harsh.


Preppy Pink Crocodile said...

I don't think that's bad at all. I think it's very normal. As long as the number doesn't control you. Because it is really just a number. I am very heavy (for me) right now. And no matter what I wear, I am physically uncomfortable. Even if it all fits perfectly. I just don't feel me. And when I see myself in photos, I gasp. Since going GF, I've lost a few pounds and I an gleeful! I didn't even try but just by cutting out the possibility of eating anything pre-packaged like Cheese-its and goldfish (my loves!), I've lost a bit of weight. I am going to start back in an exercise routine this week too. I want to feel like me again. I don't really care what the scale say but it is the best way to get results.

Cool Gal said...

I agree 100%. When I was younger, I was heavier and I was unhealthy. I can't believe how big I look in old pictures. I was out of shape. I think if your weight is ideal, your body is healthier. For me being thin is more about being healthy.

I exercise and watch what I eat, too. I know I am responsible for the way I look and feel. I'm the one putting the food in my mouth.

I recently went GF. I can't tell you how fantastic I feel. For the first time in a long time, my insides are working properly (TMI?). I've had a lot of fun experimenting with GF breads and muffins. I also made my own "nut milk" (almond) today. It's so healthy and very delicious. Easy to make as well.

Great post.

Deviled Megs said...

I read that book over the summer and I think no matter how much/little you weigh and how you may or may not stugle with your weight, there is a lot of good to take away from that book. Namely, to try to find the balance. Sometimes letting go of obsessing over the number and just trying to be your best self naturally (eating right, taking care of yourself, getting up and moving and being active) everything takes care of itself.

Katie said...

I think if you link your happiness to your weight you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of ups and downs. Self confidence should come from within.

QueenBeeSwain said...

totally with you and think you have a 100% healthy 'tude about weight.


The Preppy Princess said...

Good for you Miss Princess, the fact that so few of us are comfortable with how we look truly ranks as a great tragedy in many respects, as it influences so many other things, how we behave, how we approach others, etc. (We have had similar issues, at 5'7" I long weighed just about 100, the result of what the doctors called 'stress induced anorexia'.)

Like others I am also thinking of going Gluten Free, and admire the fact you bring the topic of diet and self-image up for your post, it shouldn't be taboo.

Sending you a big smile!

Black Labs and Lilly said...

Great post!!! I 100% agree with you, when I am feeling fit and am eating a healthy balanced diet my clothes fit better, my skin and hair look look better, I just feel better!!!

mr. pineapple man said...

being healthy is most important! good for you!

Suburban Princess said...

This has been my one and only battle all my life :O( My body has found it's 'weight' but I am not happy with that weight is it actually has me in the 'very fat' range. I would love to lose 20lbs but my body just doesnt want to let go.

I am totally with you on your motto - no one loves being fat!!!

Suburban Princess said...

OH and yes, those are the WS cutters - I've decided not to give companies much in the way of free ads so that's why I didn't say the company name in the posts.

The Pink Tutu said...

I agree with you! I feel so much better when I'm eating right, exercising and feel good in my clothes. Love your honesty :)

Anonymous said...

I'm glad you're feeling good at your current weight :) I totally get you as I struggle with my weight all the time. I was both anorexic and bulimic for a long long time (my teenage years were a NIGHTMARE) and I'm "over" it now, but even though I love food, I still get mad at myself whenever I eat something "naughty" or gain even a pound. However I'm trying to gain weight now, because due to stress I've dropped into the double digits, but hopefully I can gain it back healthily! It's important that you feel good at your weight AND stay healthy and I think you have it down pat :) xox

Bella Michelle said...

Somewhere over the last few years I found that I truly want to be healthy rather than thin...if thin is part of that, great! BUT the main goal is to be healthy and try to avoid the ugly diseases that often accompany aging and weight gain without falling into that vicious cycle of meds if at all possible. I have never (NEVER) been skinny...I weigh about what I weighed when I got married 21+ years ago and about 20 lbs heavier than in high school. Would I like to be 20 pounds would be nice, but I am not obsessing over it at all.