Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Old Rules...

On Monday, Cool Gal over at It's Just the World I Know, posted a excerpt from a 1950s Home Ec. book entitled,  How to be a Good Wife. The comments are hilarious, and it really shows how much has changed in the culture of this country in 60 years. Things are different!

After reading her blog, I headed over to Welcome to the Drapers. This is a really cute blog based on Mad Men, and written from the perspective of Betty Draper. How ironic that she too posted a list of "rules":

10 Rules for Ladies

1. Ladies don't wear white shoes before Easter or after Labor Day.

2. Ladies don't chew gum.

3. Ladies don't walk in public holding a cigarette.

4. Ladies don't drink beer from a can.

5. Ladies don't wear diamonds during daytime. (Pearls are fine.)

6. Ladies don't wear more than 13 items at once.

7. Ladies don't telephone men. (Hence the term gentlemen callers.)

8. Ladies are gay, not grumpy.

9. Ladies listen.

10.Ladies who don't abide by the rules, can't expect men to be gentlemen.
When compared to the How to be a Good Wife excerpt, these rules seem to stand the test of time. Well, perhaps ladies can be a little grumpy from time to time in 2011, though no one likes a whiner!

My favorite of the "rules" is #10. I can't begin to tell you all how many times I've been in a situation when a friend is complaining about a guy. This was more common in and right after college, but still occurs with many of my single friends. They complain that the guy they like isn't treating them with much respect. After digging deeper, it often seems that, while there is no real excuse to be a dirt bag guy, my friends are often behaving in such a way that puts the guy in the position to disrespect them. I'm sure this goes far beyond drinking beer from a can!!! ;) They are way too available!

I think these seemingly "old-fashioned" rules set a certain standard for behavior that is a wonderful jumping off point. I'd love to expand beyond simply not "telephoning a man" (#7). Not only should you not telephone him, don't DON'T text!!!! Please, do not text, especially after drinking! Don't text back if he texts you after 11:00pm. And really, if you can exercise the self-control, don't pick up when he calls 8 out of 10 times. And wait a while an eternity before returning the call, if you return it all. Once you're in a committed relationship, this game playing is silly and will start fights, I'm sure. However, when you're first getting to know a guy, less is always more- less availability that is.

And as far as the gum goes....I have to agree with Mrs. Draper's rules. My dad always used to refer to a person who was a little "rough around the edges" as a "gum chewer", and that has never left me! Eat a mint, or chew the gum for a minute or two in private. There is nothing worse than someone chomping gum in your face, is there?


Cool Gal said...

Nothing worse. I sometimes do it at hockey games when I'm nervous, but, I am going to stop. It really is gross.

Your top ten is almost spot on to what I believe today. However, I get grumpy at times (usually he makes me grumpy - haha), and I'll listen just as long as he reciprocates. It was one of my biggest pet peeve with the article I posted.

It seemed in that article, everything was about the man. Like you really didn't matter. You were to be seen and not heard. Your sole responsibility was to make him happy. To be his servant.

I guess marriage to me is 50/50. I love being "Suzy Homemaker." Love it. But, I also want to be respected and appreciated for all I do. I guess that's just human nature.

I worked outside of the home when my son was little (Full-time and part-time). I had the responsibility of both a job and the home (Most of the home stuff fell on my shoulders). I had two jobs, if you will. I can tell you this, when I was working part-time, there were many days I couldn't wait to go to work. Being a stay-at-home mom when the kids are little is very, very difficult. Rewarding, but difficult.

I guess that's another reason that article was so upsetting. The woman's job as a homemaker was not valued as "work."

Okay, off my soapbox.

Great post.

Thanks for the gum reminder! :)

Suburban Princess said...

Oh! I have a great post waiting for the right moment....where are all the gentlemen? It's very timely after reading your post today.

I feel the same way about gum, it looks dreadful, especially when a women is chewing it. I have tmj and I find chewing gum helps but I only chew it at home or in the car!

Bella Michelle said...

I think this list is timeless!!!! Now, I am off to visit "Mrs. Drapers" blog! Thanks for the recommendation.

Randall @ Happy For This Moment said...

Is it funny that I totally agree with the whole list?! Except, well, I'm not "gay" I'm just grumpy sometimes.

I'd Rather Be Holding a Mint Julep said...

"While there is no real excuse to be a dirt bag guy, my friends are often behaving in such a way that puts the guy in the position to disrespect them."
--Couldn't have said it better myself! SO so so true!!!

The Pink Tutu said...

Love this! P.S. SO disappointed that Mad Men won't be back on until 2012!

Miss Janice said...

Love the list and totally agree...gum chewing in public is just tacky! I'm enjoying cataching up with your posts and hope you are having a fab time in Naples!