Over the weekend, I found myself sinking into a bad mood because of the broken iPhone. I reminded myself that it's only a "thing", and I shouldn't be so upset. That is when it hit me why I'm so upset. It's not because I broke a material item that I love, but also that can be replaced. It's because I like owning nice things, and I like having everything in good condition. I like things to be perfect! I was next hit with the realization that I have problems. Perfection doesn't exist, yet I strive for it everyday. When things break, or more accurately, I break them, I lose my mind a little bit. I need things to be "perfect" in order to feel good. The fact that I broke the phone is also problematic because I have no one to blame but myself. I am not careful in my movements. I break things often. Then I get angry with myself because things aren't "perfect".
I'm just putting this out there because I'm need to vent. I know that realistically, I'll always be a perfectionist. I also know that I will never be perfect and it's silly to try. This will be a lifelong struggle for me. I'm just glad I had a place to let it out today, because being in a bad mood over a cell phone is almost disgusting considering what else is going on in the world. However, my world is feeling lopsided right now, and I guess that makes this relevant.