When I started this blog, it was all about wedding plans, cooking and style. Over the last couple years, as my life has progressed, so has the blog. I am honest on here. I try to be real, even when I worry I might alienate some readers. I read a variety of blogs myself, and sometimes I don't always agree with the author's opinions, but I like that! Many of my friends are so much like me that we don't really debate issues, so it's refreshing to read and "get to know" new people with different experiences and perspectives from my own.
So now I'm going to open up in a way I haven't really in the past.... On Saturday, my husband and I had a blow out! I'm talking b.a.d. argument. I don't pretend to have a perfect marriage, because, who does, right? BUT, my husband and I do get along really well. We are a lot alike when it comes to our opinions and how we see the world. We both work hard, and we work together, because our "vision" for our future is one in the same. My mom once commented that she enjoyed debating with the man she was seeing at the time. She enjoyed debating with my dad when they were married. B and I joked that we can't really "debate" because we pretty much agree on everything. We end up heatedly agreeing with one another, and then we laugh because, what's the point? We need a third party to get involved.Weeellll, my motto of "don't get too comfortable, because karma's a you-know-what" rang true on Saturday. We got into it, big time. Over what you might ask? Oh, it's the same argument we often have- grocery shopping. We solved the "lunch issue", and now we've moved on, and we're fighting over a lack of snacks. He needs more readily available snacks and I'm not a psychic, so I don't know what to buy for him. My talents are numerous, believe me, but reading minds? Sorry, haven't mastered that one yet! ;)
But the fight wasn't really just about snacks. It was about communication and respect. I respect my husband. I think he respects me. Do we tell each other, "Good morning dear, I love and respect you." everyday? Umm, noooo. But, we show each other. We have our unique ways of doing that, but we do it everyday.But I think maybe I'm slacking. Not having snacks in the house seems so trivial, but grocery shopping is one of my "duties" in our marriage. One of the ways I show my love and respect is to make nice dinners, or bake some cupcakes just because. And, I guess, to have snacks in the house. I also can be a bitch sometimes. Sometimes it's funny, other times I think he feels like I treat as though he were a member of my staff. If I had a staff, I'd probably be way more pleasant because I wouldn't be so stressed. I'm a perfectionist, and I can be cranky when things aren't the way I want them to be. I get tired and can't keep up with my perfectionism, but can't rest until things are "perfect"....it's a vicious cycle.
The argument was resolved. He wasn't innocent in the whole thing. It was one of those arguments when you both "get it all out there". I cried, we both shouted, the cat seemed to take my side (obvi), and then we made up. We wasted a couple hours fighting, but in the end it was kinda worth it. It's like a job review only way less civil. I think sometimes we need to "check" each other, because if we don't it'll go from something we can resolve to something we can't. I'm sure I'll go back to being bitchy again, and he'll go back to overreacting and making me even more upset. We will have another blow out (luckily this only happened about once a year), and we'll "check" each other again. BUT we will still care enough to do this little routine. And in all the moments in between, we will show love and respect in our own little ways. Sometimes I think fighting is healthy, at least for us, because I can handle whatever it is he has to say. What I don't think I could ever handle is if he stopped talking, or I stopped talking. If we stopped caring enough to tell the other person what an ass hole they are. That is terrifying.In the meantime, I'm going to Kroger, and I plan to buy more snacks then you'd find in a frat house. I will write little notes on the bags saying, 'I love you, and I don't care if these snacks make you chunky....because you work hard for me, and for us, and you deserve a damn Milky Way". :)
3 days ago